everydaywithri

Everything seems to be spinning in circles or maybe that's just how i am perceiving this, It may look like i am going towards something but honestly its a really twisted path. I am happy to know i have you  by my side, even though we really get on each other's nerves but there isn't a moment when you are not on my mind especially with the moments we have had together. I hope we create new memories to blur the previous memories. I had you so fucking close to me and now you are far in that exact distance, I know this shall pass too. Its just the way for now. We need to stay strong for its this strength that will bond us stronger.It doesnt have to be hard, it doesnt have to be easy either. I just want us to be a good space together with our favorite pizza and our wine. Its as simple as that. That is truly what we need.  I rightly deserve what i deserve in the life i have been bestowed up. I happen to begin listening to the translation of bhagvat gita today and hopefully it im...

I went through my facebook posts from 2009 and i am surprised by how things have changed and how there has been a constant.The constant being 'me' and how i failed to see myself in a brighter light within myself but you cannot blame me , you are taught to be wired like this .Your home , your people they are used to living way they understand best and the module that fits them the best. Its true to understand the model that fits you best and i never really discovered it until now and i am still learning and unlearning to relearn. I truly enjoy my own space offcourse with an addition to have him by my side. Going back to my thought the other day about us. We were together just months ago , and we were not just together but also in complete isolation together. We fought like crazy and loved like never before . How can things be so momentary . I never appreciated his true presence when he was around and now i would anything to have him around. Its like that was a dream that lasted...

I honestly dont know how did shit get do bad. Its 12th of May 2020 its bloody almost half the year which has gone by and i honestly cannot wait for this year to be over. I just feel so negative this year opposed to what i felt like year. Co-Vid real or not has taken a toll on the world and i feel like pawn just like everyone apart from the super rich / the illuminati who truly know what the hell to do at a time like this. Perhaps, Bill Gates was a part of this, i dont know . All i know i am facing this and it feels like fucking shit. Everything feels like a struggle. Every fucking thing. Nothing seems to be going the way i want it to . I am not manifesting well or am i just an idiot to have read all those help books only to realize that i am only a normal human with really no special abilites and only surrouned by vultures. In this hunger games, am i just to remain a pawn. When will i be able to maybe call the shots someday. Why does everything seem so odd and confusing. Everything is ...

Up at 6:30 am and continuing my morning workout followed by my yoga and meditation schedule my day begins fantastically. I continue my workday , nothing interesting. I just learnt patience is the key to things. It is also important for me to understand that. Following that was my evening which felt completely spontaneous and it began with pia forcing me to take the bike and we would ride along the path where we would also come across a little beach. Well not a beach beach but yea beach. You just cannot enter in the water as the currents along the rhine are too strong.Nevertheless, then the beautiful landscapes along the rhine, the day had the perfect amount of sun and breeze to make it feel all perfect. We were on our way to the garden where pia would be taking care of the garden and while i sipping on beer with miri decide to chill. The sunset was super and everything just had very chill vibes. Well , it would be absolutely enhanced had he been around but nevertheless. It is how it i...

Waking up at 6am today was great. I had a chance to workout at home with the help of an app in the morning and following my meditation session. I do want to wake up earlier to increase my day and make it longer. Well, such is a my wish but i will make it happen slowly. Following my first job at 8:30 am until 5:30 pm , i did want  to be able to do more but ended up doing that drawing for the whole day .Nevertheless, i was ocupado y es bueno. The post work session at the park really got me to sing louder than i did the last time at the park. Soon my voice is all they will be listening to in the evening. The sun was loving me at the point and singing brings life and joy in me. It just feels so natural like i don't need to beat myself up to produce something beautiful. The breeze brushing against my hair and my voice is all i could hear. I honestly think i sound good but today i didn't care. I just wanted the sun and the breeze to have fun. Also, on the way to the park a dog stopp...

It is a Sunday night and i am all set for the morning tomorrow. The more i proceed further in my days i feel like a little of my memories gets refurbished in my head or it goes away in someway as i embrace a new self everyday. Everyday i change to something i was not yesterday. I feel a little afraid that i become so modified that i don't remember who i was in that memory. The days seem to pass by with the blink of an eye and the days to seem feel shorter. I know truly this phase to shall teach me something and shall pass. I feel my evolution, but do i really want to evolve further? When can i put a stop to this evolution or is it never going to stop ?  The moments don't seem normal anymore ? But again, what is normal? Everything is constantly changing around me , i want to be that change. I want to do with everything that involves change. I want to transform and evolve with him by my side. I don't know if the decision i took has been right but i know in my heart it is wha...

Everytime i smell the air in the night i go back to the night spent with you at the top of the hill just looking the bright lights of the city. The beauty in us is something i definitely am missing more than the others things. I have to tune myself to believe that this is all 'Temporary', that it is in fact just a moment which too shall pass and there will be those nights again where i had you by my side. Everything is temporary , everything. It all just stays for that moment, that unexpected moment that you don't think as much of but live it because you want to be in the moment. I want to stronger, fearless better everyday. I want to be able to train my brain to live every moment in the moment itself and not anticipate or look back and be here, it is so much harder without you here with me. I want to fight against the odds and come out on the other side, like the run that i make and surpass the post that i would never think that i would reach but i eventually do and it i...