Sunday Night Breeze

It is a Sunday night and i am all set for the morning tomorrow. The more i proceed further in my days i feel like a little of my memories gets refurbished in my head or it goes away in someway as i embrace a new self everyday. Everyday i change to something i was not yesterday. I feel a little afraid that i become so modified that i don't remember who i was in that memory.
The days seem to pass by with the blink of an eye and the days to seem feel shorter. I know truly this phase to shall teach me something and shall pass. I feel my evolution, but do i really want to evolve further? When can i put a stop to this evolution or is it never going to stop ?  The moments don't seem normal anymore ? But again, what is normal? Everything is constantly changing around me , i want to be that change. I want to do with everything that involves change. I want to transform and evolve with him by my side. I don't know if the decision i took has been right but i know in my heart it is what is the best for us both. There is going to be that day again that we shall be on the beach and there will be nobody but just us two with an even beautiful view that we experienced in the past. It shall feel so beautiful because we came through just like we did in the past when i wasn't even aware he would be this important to me today.
I want to be stronger, fearless everyday. I want to feel evolution yet feel hopeful and optimistic along with a deep gratitude for what is taking place with me. I am grateful to be healthy with the aim of being focussed and fit. I am grateful to have food on my plate with the aim to give in return, I am grateful to be loved and with the aim to give love in return. I am grateful to be intelligent and with the aim to teach. i am grateful for anyone who wishes to teach me with the aim to learn in return. I want to understand deeper and listen with more intent. I want to be a better human being for there is only going to be one of me , ever to exist in this time. I want to be able to be more expressive and make the most of me being human. In flesh with the beauty to reason and perceive things.
I know in my heart he deserves more than he receives today and he shall be stronger than before. Like the phoenix to rise from ashes. There is another day to shine , another day to be giving, another day to be human. I hope the music guides me to better. I don't want to shy away from pain because that is going to give me strength to fight better to combat better.
Let this wait teach me greatly to appreciate , to love deeper for i have a lifetime. Let this teach me to be patient. I am exactly where i should be, the universe is conspiring to make things great for me. It gave me things last year and today that i never expected and i am grateful to the universe to making this happen for me but he deserves this too, I want him to be at the best for he deserves. He is a much better human than i would ever be.
Seeking my head out of the window in the night i have flashbacks of the same smell in the wind i felt on a hill of carmel del bunkers but the context was different then , than it is here today but the smell feels the same. The breeze brushes against my face the same way . At that point somebody was noticing and now it is just me.
The word for the week- Persevere 
To being better human beings. Night. To successful and gratitude filled week.