Everlasting Creation

Monday evening, I did see yesterday people at the park on a Monday evening like everything was like before , like nothing changed. They were with a bottle of wine and their companions. Not a care in the world, their bare bodies taking in as much sun as they could knowing that today would be a rainy day. They wanted the moment in the sun to last for the longest time. While i strolled through the park enjoying watching them soak the sun like i couldn't. The world seems to be at a strange transition and i feel like in the middle of it all. Where one half is still holding on to what was and the other what is to be. Why can't we take each moment like it were our last and make the most count. Why do we struggle to go through with things that don't please us but we do it because it makes us what it makes everybody else and we are a mere part of what everybody else wants. Why has my laughter become a mere memory . Why is there so much confusion and no clarity? Why is there more noise than ever before. Why do i touch the screen of my laptop pretending its human? None of this is human. None of what i feel is human. I feel less human more everyday. Doing more what i have been told to do than what feels lively. How can time play such tricks with you. I want to feel the rush , feel the waves wash themselves on me and the sand rub itself against me. How did we get so lonely ? When did we begin to feel empty and confused?
Can we rejuvenate ourselves and recreate what is to be everlasting. I want to create everlasting.
How do i not think of that mountain top that felt so magical? Where has the magic disappeared.
What can be everlasting ? Will it be my love for my partner or will it be the love for myself? Was i made to be selfish from the beginning .
With this thought i am off for the night hoping for better days.